Grad school: To go, or not to go? That is the question!

Grad school has been the topic of discussion for most of this summer with my family. My Dad expects me to become a nurse practitioner. I usually act like that is what I want to do but honestly, I don't know if that's what I really want to do. I know I want to be a nurse I have not wavered from that decisions since I decided that was what I wanted to do my senior year of high school. I always had a pretty good idea that I wanted to do pediatrics but also liked the idea of doing labor and delivery. During my L&D rotation I figured out I only really liked the babies. My favorite clinical days involved the NICU and supporting parents going through rough times. My pediatric rotation was by far my favorite rotation. I remember my first day of clinicals, I was so excited I was like a kid in a candy store. I was assigned to the pediatric intensive care unit my first day. I was a little nervous at first, but as the day progressed I had a moment where I realized this was exactly what I was supposed to do. While I loved all of my pediatric rotations my day in ICU made me realize I have a need for adrenaline and giving parents emotional support. I love working with babies and Pediatric ICU you literally have kids of all ages. I have decided being a NICU nurse is my dream. I know there will be hard days but I also know there will be amazing days where I will know that it is exactly what I'm supposed to do.

But then there's this expectation of becoming a nurse practitioner, which is any where from 2.5 to 5 years of additional schooling. And my dad says it's always better to just get the degree and then I can go back to NICU nursing or work as a nurse practitioner or whatever I want, but really doing a minimum of 2.5 years of additional schooling for something I'm not passionate about doesn't seem worth it or to just work the job I was working prior to wasting 2.5 years to get the extra degree doesn't make sense either.

So let's say I go along with the charade of wanting to become a nurse practitioner. Both my dad and sister think they know admission requirements to become a neonatal nurse practitioner when neither one a) is a neonatal nurse practitioner, b) have looked at admission criteria, or c) have a masters or doctorate degree. For every neonatal nurse practitioner program, I have looked into requires 1 year of working in a NICU before you can apply. Which makes complete sense if you have an understanding of how working in nursing departments work. Most nursing student when they graduate will find jobs in one of two areas (regardless of their desired field of work): a new grad program where they are able to specialize with approximately 4 months of additional training, or they will end up in what nurses call a med/surg unit (general hospital floor). If you are able to get into a new grad program then you are streamlined to your desired area of work. If you choose or have to take the med/surg approach, it takes around two years to be able to move up into a more acute setting, and if you want to go into an even more specialized area it can take even two more years after that to qualify for those areas.

So imagine you are a new grad, fresh out of college never worked a job as an RN in your life. You might not have even had one day in NICU in your clinical hours. You want to be a neonatal nurse practitioner but you don't even have a clue as to how a NICU works or if you can emotionally handle that job. No program is going to take a risk on someone who might not even fully have their heart devoted to NICU. It would be a waste of their time and resources.

I get it. You probably understand it now too. But for some reason my family cannot understand the fact that you simply have to have one year of experience in a field before you can get a degree in it.

I get that my dad is just pushing me to continue my education as far as I can take it. That or he secretly wishes I was a doctor, like everyone else seems to want to push me toward. I just don't see my heart in being a doctor or doing an additional 3 years of schooling. I don't know if I want the pressure to be a nurse practitioner to be gone or for the pressure to apply for the fall after graduation to be gone. Either way I just need some space to figure it out and for my family to consider what I want to do rather than what they think is best for me.

Done making promises

Clearly I fail at this whole blogging thing, but I only have two followers so I guess I'm not really letting a huge crowd down. I'm done making promises. I do not promise to write weekly, monthly or even one more post for the end of the year. I'm tired of breaking promises, so if I remember I have a blog then I'll write. If I don't remember or can't thinking of something to write about then I won't write. It's really that simple. I am ready to try and remember to write again, but again no promises.